Saturday, November 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Wanna know what finally happened to me and the Church?
Between just after Thanksgiving of 1999 and late April of 2002, I went to a number of funerals for my older relatives who started dying off then. Been to a few after that, most notably in 2010 but that's a different time- I'm talking those few years there now. The ones that also had September 11, 2001 happen in the middle of it all too.
But the point is, with enough funerals, you end up in Church quite a bit.
Especially with my Grandfather's funeral, in 2002, because I actually participated and did a reading for that one. The Priest at the time, Father Arko, was almost the only person who was paying attention to the needs of MY generation regarding the death, others only looking to the children, not grandchildren, etc.
I thought, wow, this man, this Priest is really, truly a spiritual person, and made you feel comfortable, and cared about and all that stuff.
I actually thought, wow, maybe I could go back to church.
IF I went back to that particular church.
And...
That's where things went to Hell, because maybe a year after that... I think it was in '03- Father Arko got busted for growing marijuana in the rectory. You might've heard about it? Even though it's a suburban church in NE Ohio? It did get into US national media a bit. Prince of Peace church, being called "Prince of Pot" and all that?
I even remember Jay Leno doing a joke on the frigging tonight show about it, how with all the other scandals in the Catholic Church, when that news broke, they must've thought "Phew, it's just drugs! What a relief!"
Well, the thing is, I knew parishioners had turned him in, snitched or whatever. So, I figured, great. I can't trust these people. I don't grow pot or anything- haven't even tried to use it since college, where I only tried it a few times at parties where everyone else was doing it anyway- but still, just knowing that they'd turn in someone who mainly grew it for medicinal purposes, (which he did) I just felt like, well, screw you people. Like, oh, they can't tell the difference between the spirit of the law and the letter, you know?
(edit: yes I know this was still law-breaking. And I know when I think about it that a lot more people could have gotten in trouble for NOT saying something. But when you are in an emotional state- which relatives dying will do to you- you don't always think with the best logic or clarity. And I don't actually know what motivated the person who turned him in. Yeah, they probably did think they were doing the right thing, not just trying to snitch. And no, I don't still feel mad at whoever it was like I did at the time, because I don't doubt they thought they were doing the right thing. And honestly, I don't really know ANY of these people, nor did I ever know them. )
Of course he wasn't Priest there, or anywhere, after that.
And if he wasn't the Priest, I didn't want to go to the church. Simple as that.
There'd been a chance I could've gone back to church, but in my mind at the time, the parishioners blew it.
Too bad, how sad.
So, that's what happened.
(Edit: I don't mean to sound like I have no idea there could have been consequences for knowing a person was breaking a law, and not saying anything. And I really have no right to judge them. This is explaining what my thoughts were more than anything. And acknowledging that my thoughts are not always objective.)
But the point is, with enough funerals, you end up in Church quite a bit.
Especially with my Grandfather's funeral, in 2002, because I actually participated and did a reading for that one. The Priest at the time, Father Arko, was almost the only person who was paying attention to the needs of MY generation regarding the death, others only looking to the children, not grandchildren, etc.
I thought, wow, this man, this Priest is really, truly a spiritual person, and made you feel comfortable, and cared about and all that stuff.
I actually thought, wow, maybe I could go back to church.
IF I went back to that particular church.
And...
That's where things went to Hell, because maybe a year after that... I think it was in '03- Father Arko got busted for growing marijuana in the rectory. You might've heard about it? Even though it's a suburban church in NE Ohio? It did get into US national media a bit. Prince of Peace church, being called "Prince of Pot" and all that?
I even remember Jay Leno doing a joke on the frigging tonight show about it, how with all the other scandals in the Catholic Church, when that news broke, they must've thought "Phew, it's just drugs! What a relief!"
Well, the thing is, I knew parishioners had turned him in, snitched or whatever. So, I figured, great. I can't trust these people. I don't grow pot or anything- haven't even tried to use it since college, where I only tried it a few times at parties where everyone else was doing it anyway- but still, just knowing that they'd turn in someone who mainly grew it for medicinal purposes, (which he did) I just felt like, well, screw you people. Like, oh, they can't tell the difference between the spirit of the law and the letter, you know?
(edit: yes I know this was still law-breaking. And I know when I think about it that a lot more people could have gotten in trouble for NOT saying something. But when you are in an emotional state- which relatives dying will do to you- you don't always think with the best logic or clarity. And I don't actually know what motivated the person who turned him in. Yeah, they probably did think they were doing the right thing, not just trying to snitch. And no, I don't still feel mad at whoever it was like I did at the time, because I don't doubt they thought they were doing the right thing. And honestly, I don't really know ANY of these people, nor did I ever know them. )
Of course he wasn't Priest there, or anywhere, after that.
And if he wasn't the Priest, I didn't want to go to the church. Simple as that.
There'd been a chance I could've gone back to church, but in my mind at the time, the parishioners blew it.
Too bad, how sad.
So, that's what happened.
(Edit: I don't mean to sound like I have no idea there could have been consequences for knowing a person was breaking a law, and not saying anything. And I really have no right to judge them. This is explaining what my thoughts were more than anything. And acknowledging that my thoughts are not always objective.)
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Words I don't like: "Pins" for legs
"Pins" is a very stupid word for legs. Seriously. I see it in British media. It's not popular here in the US, and I hope it never is.
It's really really stupid.
It's really really stupid.
Friday, July 27, 2012
File under: Don't beat yourself up
One step in the right direction is better than standing still.
Even a teeny tiny little baby step.
And- even though I know some will disagree- I also believe standing still is better than a step in the wrong direction.
After all, something doesn't have to be a million bazillion times better just to be better.
Seriously.
Stop beating yourself up for not doing ENOUGH, for there are those out there who will never recognize the contributions of others as "enough".
Just give a good try, make an honest effort.
The people who want you to be perfect before they'll give you the time of day are not perfect either. And truth be told, even though they won't let you know it, they themselves recognize their own imperfection. (Usually.)
Even a teeny tiny little baby step.
And- even though I know some will disagree- I also believe standing still is better than a step in the wrong direction.
After all, something doesn't have to be a million bazillion times better just to be better.
Seriously.
Stop beating yourself up for not doing ENOUGH, for there are those out there who will never recognize the contributions of others as "enough".
Just give a good try, make an honest effort.
The people who want you to be perfect before they'll give you the time of day are not perfect either. And truth be told, even though they won't let you know it, they themselves recognize their own imperfection. (Usually.)
Tiny Pieces of Depression
Every time I try to clean up around here, I find bits of paper covered with ideas for blog posts that I never finished and published. Some are full sheets of paper, that have most of the post fleshed out, and would only need a bit of editing (plus typed, of course. Not always as easy a matter as it sounds depending on how arthritic I feel that day, but not exactly an insurmountable obstacle.)
I have no doubt there are at least 100 posts laying around here that never materialized. Some are dated by the time I see them again and get thrown out right away. Others, though, are timeless, or at least will be so until we live in a perfect world. ha ha.
Often I start writing enthusiastically, then I tell myself, "You know, no one reads your blog anyway. This is a waste of time." Typically, I have no clue what else I'd be doing with that time, but tell myself it's a waste anyway. That's just how depressed logic goes.
But I realize, hey, you've just outlined for yourself a good reason why you don't have much readership- hello- not many posts.
So...
I am going to resurrect from the heap what I still feel is relevant, whether I wrote it a week ago or 5 years ago.
Have fun.
I have no doubt there are at least 100 posts laying around here that never materialized. Some are dated by the time I see them again and get thrown out right away. Others, though, are timeless, or at least will be so until we live in a perfect world. ha ha.
Often I start writing enthusiastically, then I tell myself, "You know, no one reads your blog anyway. This is a waste of time." Typically, I have no clue what else I'd be doing with that time, but tell myself it's a waste anyway. That's just how depressed logic goes.
But I realize, hey, you've just outlined for yourself a good reason why you don't have much readership- hello- not many posts.
So...
I am going to resurrect from the heap what I still feel is relevant, whether I wrote it a week ago or 5 years ago.
Have fun.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
last year
I made 24 posts in this blog.
That was my high, by far.
An average of 2 a month, even though two blog entries per month totally isn't what happened.
And this has been a lesson in the misleading nature of statistics.
That was my high, by far.
An average of 2 a month, even though two blog entries per month totally isn't what happened.
And this has been a lesson in the misleading nature of statistics.
Holy Crap, it's a blog post.
Yes. Once again I have decided if I am going to have a blog i might as well post in it. Novel idea, yes? The good thing is, it's still been less than a year since my last post. Impressive.
Of course, it's not a post about anything.
But if I say it is a post about nothing that's like I'm referencing Seinfeld or something since I seem to recall the pitch for it was that it's a show about nothing.
And this post is not about Seinfeld.
But maybe I should tag it with Seinfeld anyway and see if that gets me any readers. Let's try it. I'll let you know. Hopefully before next year.
Of course, it's not a post about anything.
But if I say it is a post about nothing that's like I'm referencing Seinfeld or something since I seem to recall the pitch for it was that it's a show about nothing.
And this post is not about Seinfeld.
But maybe I should tag it with Seinfeld anyway and see if that gets me any readers. Let's try it. I'll let you know. Hopefully before next year.
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